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Hello everyone! This page has everything you need to read. It may help to arouse your boredom. I made this blog to let other knows about what i feel, my experiences with relationship to my love ones and friends and my point of view of the things happening around me. Please take your time to read and leave comments to my blog. And if you want to exchange link, that would be great!!! Enjoy and thank you!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

My 1st week in Spokane Valley, USA

I have traveled across the world for me to be where I am right now. I anticipated it would be hard living in a different country with different cultures that i used to have for 23 years. But hey!!! it was not bad at all! Except for the cold weather and the foods served to me..hahaha.

Its been a week already. For my first week of stay here i did not have encounter any problem at all, except me and my fiance (Justin) had a misunderstanding because of a little thing which happened to be my fault! darn it! haha..

I enjoyed hanging out with Justin's brother (JOE) kids. I can tell they truely liked me! They always love to hang out with me! Jumped with them in a trumpulin, Skate with them although i don't know how to but they're patient to teach me and I felt sorry for that because I am just a slow learner when it comes to that thing because I am nervous.

Things are doing great here for me. I always have my smile on my face because they always make me smile and I am being well treated like I am one of them! They never made me feel I am a stranger! I an just so happy that they love me!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I MET THE KIDS! YEAH!

It was around 5:30 in the afternoon when Shelby called that they're coming over to meet me..OMG! I was nervous and excited in the other hand because I am going to meet the kids and that is one of the important things to do..hang out with them and know them! I had lot of anticipations and always asking Justin if the kids would like me or not...haha I was really shaking because it was freaking cold (for me) and because I am nervous...

Justin and I waited for like..uuhhhmmm..one hour maybe..hahaha we thought the kids wouldn't come because we waited for so long..but poof! they came!!!! with Tony's girlfriend SJB..

We went to Valley Mall..and decided to have dinner at FRIDAY!! oh geee..what do u expect!? of course I was a bit quiet! but whew! Im glad my tongue came out and start talking and ride on their conversation and jokes! we laughed! although I was shaking coz....heeeeeeeeeey!!!! it was cold!! haha..after dinner we went straight home!

When we got home i shown my phone (N93i) to them..they said it was cool! oh yeah because it was expensive! wahahaha P30,000 just for the phone! yeah yeah..that's how spoiled I am! Well...my fiance (Justin) loves to spoil me! He said because I am a good girl! LOL..but that's true! I reall am!..

It was really nice when they hugged me before they went to their house (with their mom) and oh gosh!!! TONY!!!! carried me! i felt like i was a baby! hahaha...

Thursday, April 3, 2008

This is what YOU are to ME

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Wednesday, April 2, 2008

How it started..


It started in a crowded chartroom (MAY 2005) full of different unknown people. Some were just there to have fun, some were there to find someone to talk with sense and humor. As I kept looking, there was a name catches my attention. I started saying hi taking chances if he will reply or will just ignore me. With my surprise, he replied nicely and we talked while seeing each other on cam. Meeting him that day took those sad feelings i had and changed my sober face to a happy face which i can't explain. Within that day, couple of hours we already shared a lot together as if that we known each other for so long. He shared his laughter to me to brighten up my day, to cheer me up as he knew i was really down that time. We parted by saying goodbye without knowing if we're able to talk again. In the next day, as i opened my YM a message from him was a surprise! That day i believed we'll be good friends.

As days...months past by, i realized i had this feelings for him i cant deny. I kept it to myself, afraid to tell him that he might go away. I was so eager to talk to him everyday as if he was the only one can make me smile. Until we confessed about our feelings to each other. I was overwhelmed knowing he felt the same for me. We became lovers. I thought happiness that i felt with him was endless, but i was wrong. Several times with teary eyes, losing hopes and feeling clueless.

How many times we had fights, break ups, tears that have been wasted because of nonsense arguments. Still, we accepted each other's fault. We forgive and forget. We go on with our life together though, we just see each other's smile on cam. Asking ourselves when can we be together. Hold each other's hand, feel the real hugs and kisses that we were longing for, starting to build our dreams together.

As time past by it became a year..and almost two years of waiting for him patiently, he came to visit me. The greatest birthday gift that i ever received in my whole life is being with him.

With his backpack, his walking as if so eager to see me. He kept searching with an anticipation that i might not be there to welcome him. With all of my surprise, i was in front him, he hurriedly gave a big hug and kisses on me while saying "Baby im here now!" i felt i wanted to faint! Was it just a dream? He kept talking while in our way to the hotel where we stayed. I was start struck and didn't know what to say but give him a big smile and hugged him so tight like i don't want to let him go back where he came.

A week of stay with me which i didn't want to end. He gave me birthday presents that he knew i would really love and treasure. My brand new computer!!! My brand new XRM bike!!! and the best was...how i celebrated my birthday in BORACAY with him!!!

The day came to say goodbye. I wanted to cry because i don't want to stop how he gave me kisses, how he held his hand to mine, how he let me feel safe!!! Flying with him to manila was a great experience that i will never ever forget!!! My first time on plane with him...and my first time to be in Manila with him...It was a blast!!!!!

Still, there were trials, problems and temptation come along for both of us. Tears that falls from my eyes. Heart that torn but he did all his best to heal those pain i felt because of him. When he tells me "Baby everything will be fine" it made me more stronger, and, when he tells me "I'll always be here, I'm not going to let you go" those words made me love him more. No matter how many times i cried, how many times we get hurt. I know and i believe with his words.

Everything will be fine, I know it will. Baby, we've been through a lot already and things are getting close. You know i will always be here for you!!! I love you so much. If we'll be given a chance to change how our life goes and whom people to meet, I may change some of it, but not the time i met you and have you.

Beloved Mother


As time pass by and as I grew up i saw all the struggles of my mother have been too. It started 13 years ago when my dad lost his job and my younger brother was born. My mother's world became smaller and uneasy as for her to work hard. For her, night became a day. She continued gratify each one of us with those things we needs and wants. From my dad, my siblings and to me. We didn't realize we were being harsh to her. She never get the rest she needs, the things she wants. She tolerated our attitude although it was not fair anymore. No one shown her pity and appreciation of her work, everyone only cared of things they had and will have. My mom worked and strives alone for us with that 13 years without my dad's help. She sent my dad to school for a 4 year course with God's help she succeeded. I was happy and my dad did not even appreciate and gave importance about it.

Another trial came, her 4th child died in her womb. It was a bad tragedy. But for my mom, life must go on. I may not show any affection and love to her but deep inside my heart I was in a doom place crying for not letting her know that i care and love her so much. I want to comfort and give everything she deserves. She have been judged and mortify by others. She lowered her own pride just for us.

What things hurt most, my dad cheated on her several times, since the day they got married until the day they already have their own grandchildren. My heart burst out of anger seeing her crying and full of disappointment. I defend her by letting my dad knew how bad father and husband he was. Said an unintentional words leading him to leave our house. I thought that was the best thing to do but it worsen everything. Like always, she was the one who begged to my dad to came home and asked an apology despite of my dad's stupidity. Without realizing that we were hurt of the move she did and that made me scram away in our house.

My mom's life became more conflict, for the first time we have been separated with the huge mistake of the man she loves. She never gave up and tried working out for our family to be together again.

Another test in her life as a mother came, when my brother was involved of things that he did not do. She almost lost hope seeing her child suffering. Despite of what happened, she never turned her back on him. Instead to condemn my brother, she shown all her support and love as mother. She did not fail because it was just a mistake.

Until now, everyone relying on her. She have all the responsibilities that my dad should share with her. She bear all the pain just for her family.

People thought she is always happy and never carry any burden, that is how people think about her. Sometimes, she is being taken advantage. I still can see how she being love by other people because she shows true friendship, a good listener and helpful person to everyone.

She is such a BELOVED MOTHER to me. Without telling her personally, within my self she really is! I am so proud for her for not giving up for all those burdens she had because of us. I wish someday i could tell her that.

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